Distance
by darknesspirals
Summary: Hiei doesn't like having feelings, or caring. So this is the only solution he can think of to solve an ever growing problem. It just doesn't seem like it will work for very long.


It's been a while since I posted anything. It actually took me a while to figure out how again. >.> Sad, huh? I'm really, really trying with that new chapter by the way. And there'll be another one-shot up soon, just because it's already written and needs to be typed. Gah... I have finals next week... Suffering galor!

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**Distance**

Hiei stretched on his tree branch, blissfully aware that he was the only creature currently residing in 'his' forest. Those timid little Ningenkai animals had taken flight as soon as he had begun making his residence here. And it had been well over a month since he had last been in the same room with the other three members of the Reikai Tentei, a fact that he didn't regret in the least. And it had been just as long since he had been called on to aid in the rescue of the miserably weak creatures that called the Ningenkai home, something he was just as pleased with. He really had no use for things that could not protect themselves.

But it had only been days since he last wondered why he wasn't happier about it.

The thought that had occurred to him from the beginning occurred again as he pulled his sword and sheath into his lap, deftly undoing the knot on his belt. The thought still sent uneasy ripples of fear through him. And the realization of the fear set off bigger waves of the same. It had been like this for weeks, a never-ending ring of growing fear and discomfort, again multiplied by the fact that it all stemmed from a single thought, not some mysterious entity of the night that threatened his life.

**That** he could have dealt with. **That** would have been simple. If it were merely some stranger, strong enough to worry him, he would not be scared. He would merely be curious, and mildly excited at the prospect of a challenge. He would have trained, and increased his strength to the point where he could defeat this entity and add another notch to his belt.

But the knowledge that he suspected he might miss the others… That was much, much different. It was horrifying.

He shuddered involuntarily as he drew his sword to clean it. It was his one and only routine. A night that was his own, and not occupied by some distasteful task, did not pass without a careful inspection and servicing of his precious blade. It was one of few possessions he had ever developed any sort of attachment to. Everything else was replaceable.

But he despised that even thinking of that fearful thought could now draw a reaction from him. It made him angry. He despised that he might have developed feelings for those buffoons, that he had even accidentally begun to consider them his friends. It had shocked him, when he realized that he had accidentally used the word in the heat of the moment. He hated how he felt compelled to help the weaklings whenever they got themselves in over their heads, as they so often did.

He slid the blade home with a metallic clang, too worked up to look at it any longer. He dropped to the ground effortlessly, soundlessly, despite the height.

He had spent too much time with those ningen and Kurama. He was imagining things, what they would feel in his position maybe. But that could not be what he would feel, never…

He would just have to avoid them all for as long as possible. Even the fox had abandoned him and switched sides. He couldn't begin to fathom why Kurama preferred to remain with his human relations, and he couldn't fathom why he sometimes felt twinges of guilt when he watched "Suiichi" with his family. As far as he had ever experienced or observed, having feelings could only lead to pain and disaster.

So why was this youkai, who had once been the ultimate thief lord of the Makai, unwilling to give up these crippling weaknesses called emotions and return to his former glory?

His movements were jerky as he angrily reattached his sword to his waist. The concept that it was enjoyable to feel escaped him. It agitated him. He refused to believe it. He refused to accept that he had allowed these weaknesses to develop in himself after stamping them out so carefully.

How could this have possibly happened?

There really was just no arguing. It had been a month, but he would just have to make it many, starving this new dependence with separation.

He smirked, satisfied with that self-suffering solution.

Now, to nab some food from the local market…

A ringing started at his belt, nearly scaring the wits out of him.

With a mumbled curse he violently grabbed and flipped open the pink communicator Koenma had forced on him.

Pink. Of all the colors… That sadistic bastard.

"What," he growled dangerously.

The baby face gulped visibly in the face of Hiei's anger. "Get to Reikai immediately, Hiei. You're needed for a mission."

Hiei's mood deepened with a scowl. "And the fools?"

"They'll be there too," Koenma said brightly, thinking this would convince Hiei to come, the fact that he wouldn't have to do all the work on his own.

"No," he said flatly. "I refuse." He would _not_ spend time with those idiots.

Koenma's face hardened immediatly. "No, Hiei. You get here now or, help me Kami, I will have you hunted down and thrown into solitary confinement."

That didn't seem like such a bad place to be, but Hiei's eyes blazed with the very idea that this brat of a prince thought he could command _him_, Hiei Jaganshi. When Koenma's expression remained firm, he finally relented with a reluctant, "Fine."

The prince's face brightened immediately, with relief. Hiei would not be an easy one to keep locked up if it ever came to that. And he hoped to put off that particular trial for as long as possible. "Good. See you soon, Hiei—"

The communicator died with a crunch and crackle of electricity, and Hiei dropped the mangled mass of plastic to the ground with a haughty "Hn."

That aggravating toddler. He never failed to ruin his plans…


End file.
